


Heartache

by Anneofnyc



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-04 22:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5350505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anneofnyc/pseuds/Anneofnyc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was going to be a bad one. When his forehead still had dried blood on it and every single furniture in the house was wrecked, there were no two ways about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A tag of sorts to episode 8 "Shadows in the Glass". Can be considered canon divergence/slight au.

The coffee was very bitter and if Matt cared about how things tasted at the moment, he probably would have gagged. But his fatigued body and heavy heart needed whatever help they could get. Stick’s paper bracelet was safely put away. His feelings were less put together.

It was going to be a bad one. When his forehead still had dried blood on it and every single furniture in the house was wrecked, there were no two ways about it. A bad day was more of a promise than a possibility.

He couldn’t be bothered with actual breakfast. He wasn’t hungry and he had managed about an hour of sleep. Two big cups of extra strong coffee should be enough to get the job done. That’s all that mattered anyway. Not his shitty childhood. Not being duped, again, by Stick.

It felt stupid. He’d grown up and made something out of himself. He wasn’t a needy 12 year old orphan anymore. He helped protect the city and even had something close to a family in Foggy and Karen. So why did he feel breathless every time he thought about Stick’s betrayal? And why did his heart hurt with pangs of loneliness?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He felt himself growing tensed as Foggy and Karen explained that they’d been attacked. He pushed down the vicious urge to scream at them, his mind racing as he thought of how he’d failed to protect them. He’d been assisting a child-killer when Karen was being attacked and Foggy of all people had protected her. The guy didn’t have a single malicious bone in his body and hated violence.

“This is what I’m talking about. There are things out there. You can’t be doing this. You’re going to get yourselves hurt.”

Jesus this woman. This stupid, reckless, amazing woman. Her bravery would get her killed. And she had no idea. He couldn’t even tell them anything. About what was actually going on. And here she was declaring outright war.

His shoulders and neck were starting to hurt with all the tension. Muscles tight and strung out. He shifted side to side to dispel the excess energy. He was just not prepared to handle this calmly. Not physically and definitely not mentally.

“If you could see her face, you’d know she really means it.” Foggy’s quiet voice piped up in support as Karen flared in righteous anger.

He was so tired. He could only manage a soft, “Yeah, I kinda got that.”

He felt breathless all of sudden. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on to the calm façade. His body seemed to buzz. Limbs itching to move. Hit. Fight something. God, he couldn’t seem to get any air though. Their body heat and scents seemed to leave no empty space around him.

He started walking, he needed to get out. Even if it was just to his office.

“Alright, who-who else is involved-” he stuttered, talking suddenly problematic. Something was wrong. Something invisible seemed to crush his chest. He couldn’t breathe he couldn’t breathe. _What was happening to him?_

He kept going, trying to find something to hold on to. The door. Anything. He stretched his trembling hands out. He couldn’t focus his senses to know where everything was. The world was dissolving in whirls of darkness and no air.

“-who’s… helping you… break” he gasped out as he found the door post and entered his room. Well, atleast he hoped it was, he couldn’t really make anything out.

“whatever..” he wheezed out, taking another agonising step forward.

Away from Foggy and Karen. He needed out. Away. His heart throbbed against his chest. Pulse racing impossibly.

 

“MATT!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun duuuuuuun....


	2. Chapter 2

Matt elicited a lot emotions in Foggy.

The initial ‘holy shit my roommate’s cheekbones can cut glass’ to ‘yes food and sleep is kinda important to survival’. Admiring him take down assholes with acerbic wit and then cursing his dumbass decisions like wandering about when bombs are going off everywhere. Everything was sharp and extreme when it came to Matt. The good and the bad.

It wasn’t Matt’s fault that Foggy worried. Well, okay he definitely didn’t help either but it was what Foggy did. He worried. He would stay up nights to nurse Matt through pneumonia and help Karen escape her ghosts with drinks and laughter.

That’s what he did. And now his best friend was turning up with bruises and evasions. But nothing could beat the day when Matt, during the what seemed to be the start of an incredible hissy fit, just bit the office floor.

 

Matt looked like he’d taken quite an impressive fall the previous night. And then his face had started to turn a very terrifying shade of red as they fumbled through their explanations. He knew it wasn’t the best plan, alright? But Jesus Matt could be such an intimidating dick sometimes. Karen held on to her ground remarkably. The woman who saw threats everywhere was a formidable force herself.

Even Matt seemed to wilt a bit when faced with her intractable strength. But then he started to fidget and sigh like this was the last place on earth he wanted to be. And not too later, he found himself yelling his name out as the suddenly pale man just folded over.

“Matt, Matt… woah, here.”

He slowly lowered the deceptively heavy man to the floor. Matt was breathing harshly and trembling like a leaf.

Karen rushed in and helped to stretch out Matt’s legs, looking wide eyed and alarmed.

“I think we should make him lie down flat, Foggy.” she said coming nearer.

“Yeah, call 911. Fast.” He barked out in similar alarm as he laid the pliant body down gently.

Matt had lost conscious but his harsh breathing was easing off. Karen was relaying information to the emergency operators in the front room. Matt was blinking slowly.

“Matt? Hey.”

He seemed to jerk a little in surprise, his eyes roving everywhere. He was trying to say something but Foggy couldn’t make it out. He called out to Karen to get some water and that Matt was awake and found that his eyes were wet and his hands were shaking.He cupped Matt’s cheeks and tapped them lightly.

“Hey, talk to me. How are you feeling? The EMTs are on the way… so don’t worry.”

Foggy found it simultaneously funny and horrifying as the first thing that Matt uttered were, “M’fine”.

“Try again.”

Matt licked his lips. His right hand was clawing at his chest weakly. Karen noticed and hurriedly loosened his tie and popped a few buttons open.

“Not… not beating righ’.”

Shit. His heart? He looked at Karen to see the same distressed expression on her face. But she then looked down and brushed Matt’s hair back lightly.

“The ambulance is on the way Matt. You’ll be fine, just hang on.”

Foggy closed his eyes for just a second and then took off his jacket, balled it up and laid it under Matt’s head. He was breathing easier and pallor could no longer be described as deathly. So there was that. His heart was doing acrobatics of his own and god what the fuck. What the fucking fuck. Like Matt didn’t have enough problems already.

 

 

By the time the paramedics arrived, Matt was already feeling better. Foggy and Karen had to use threats and their combined body mass to keep him still. His pulse was still racing, but the pounding was gone. It didn’t feel like his heart was skipping beats and about to give way any minute now.

“So, your heart rate is slightly elevated but no other abnormalities right now.” The paramedic said showing them the ECG strip reading. “Blood pressure is 84/60, which is a little low but I wouldn’t be too worried about that. Arrhythmias, palpitations are a normal occurrence in many people but you did lose consciousness and apparently you had a hard time breathing as well?

Matt nodded, the cut over his eyebrow standing out like a neon sign with his clammy pale skin.

“So we really need to do a couple of more tests to rule out anything more serious. Because it can very well may be something serious. Best course of action is that we give you a ride to the hospital. The doctor might keep you overnight, do some investigations.”

Foggy squeezed Matt’s shoulder pre-emptively, “Please, please don’t fight me on this and listen to them Matty.”

“You really scared us Matt.” Karen added, her voice low and steely.

This day was turning out to be even better than he expected. And then bonus of a hospital stay. He couldn’t deny that he felt like utter shit though. A headache was blooming behind his right eye and he could distinctly feel each cut and bruise in his body. He wasn’t even sure if he could stand on his own right now.

Matt sighed listlessly, “Okay, let’s.” 


	3. Chapter 3

“You fainted. You actually fainted because of stress.”

“I didn’t _faint_.”

“Like people get ulcers you know, or headaches. But no, you had to go for your heart. You take stress to whole another level Mr. Vigilante.”

“I’m not stressed.”

“So wait, let me summarise this for you. You got tased. Got manipulated into helping your childhood abuser to commit murder…”

“He’s not-”

“…got beaten to pulp by him…”

“I beat him back.”

“… got half of your house trashed up, didn’t sleep, replaced half your bodyweight with coffee…”

“Four cups isn’t…”

“…found out that Karen got attacked and that she and Foggy are planning to take on Fisk and doing not so safe things while at it…”

“That one’s not on me.”

“And you’re still saying you haven’t been stressed? Is it the lack of fatal stab wounds? What makes the cut?"

“…”

“Matt?”

“I’m sorry I ruined your evening.” He muttered.

That had Claire shoving him hard before rising to her feet. Matt hung his head. Claire took few fortifying breaths before speaking.

“I’m not going to yell at you because that’s not going to help with the stress thing.”

“I’m sorry. I am. I just- yeah I guess I’m pretty stressed.” Matt raised his face towards her. “Please.” He patted the couch.

Claire sat down and ripped the Velcro off, sliding the blood pressure cuff away.

“Well, everything seems to be okay now. Tasers are known to induce arrhythmia. Although it’s usually more immediate. It could be it was mild enough that you couldn’t feel it right away because of the adrenaline. No more tasers alright?”

“I’ll try.” He smiles drily.

“Your potassium levels should have normalised by now. They were only slightly off anyway so I wouldn’t be too concerned.”

Matt nods and then takes her hand. Her work hardened palms, gentle and sure fingers. Maybe it was a bit of a blind man cliché, but hands were his favourite features. Hands that kept him alive and moving, even more so.

“I like your hands.”

He heard her snort. Sardonic, but mostly fond. And then she stilled.

“You know Matt, I know you have to hide a lot of things because you don’t want your friends to know about the mask. But…” She squeezes his hand a bit. “But there’s still a lot in your life that you can share with them. I don’t understand why you keep so many secrets. So many unnecessary upsetting ones I mean.”

Matt heard her apprehension, her fear that she had overstepped her boundaries.

“Just how I’ve always been I suppose. I used to- in… in therapy. We used to do some paper craft things. Birds, planes, different flowers. I used to like these geometric pattern ones.” He paused.

Claire nudged him after a while, “They used to relax you?”

“Hmm yeah. Yeah. Thanks for doing this Claire. It would have been hell spending the night at the hospital.”

“You’re welcome.”

He shook his head, “You’re a good friend.”

“Is that what we are now?”

“If never more. But that doesn’t mean this is- is any _less_ you know. Being friends. It isn’t like a compromise I’m willing to settle on. Any way I see it you’re a gift and I’m grateful to have you in my corner.”

Claire kisses his head and then ruffles it, standing up to go.

“You should be.”

Matt rolled his eyes and smiled, “Bye Claire.”

“Bye. And keep away from caffeine. And bad people.”

“I’ll be a model patient.”

Claire leaves with another incredulous laugh.

Matt thinks he should be offended.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short because I really really should be studying. Next one will be the last chapter and it will be longer and fluffier. Because January is hard enough as it is and too much fluff never hurt anyone. 
> 
> Please leave comments. Concrit is very much welcome :)


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